Sunday, February 23, 2014

Remembrance of Things Past* Redux







It's cold! Very cold! Ten degrees this morning!  The cold temperatures reminded me of this post that I shared with you years ago.  Here it is again and I still have no desire to wear an animal skin!!

No matter how cold it gets, I DO NOT want a mink coat!!!!! It has nothing to do with animal rights.

It has to do with Mrs. East.

Although there were no reserved seats at our church, we always sat in the same pew. Occasionally a visitor would come and take our seats but that didn't create a problem. We simply sat elsewhere for that Sunday. Most Sundays we were in our usual place behind Mrs. East who was in her usual place.

My early memories of Sunday morning service were the hymns, most of which I still love today.

I remember, too, my boring discomfort. The pews were hardwood. My legs weren't long enough to bend unless I sat forward. When I sat forward, I tended to kick the back of the seat in front of me--Mrs. East's seat. Once I'd penciled in all the looped letters (o, p, b, a, e) in the bulletin, boredom took hold.

The winters were different. On winter Sundays, Mrs. East wore her minks. Oh how I loathed and feared those little creatures. Their eyes stared relentlessly at me! The little teeth bit into each other forming a chain of animals biting animals around Mrs. East's neck.

In winter, I could not take my eyes off those small creatures. They sent cold chills up my spine! I could not imagine how she could take them from wherever they stayed during the week and put them around her neck. How could she bring herself to touch them. I cringed a lot on those cold Sundays!

On the last Sunday morning we sat behind Mrs. East, I was particularly bored. My stiff little legs itched to kick a military tattoo on the back of her seat.

The first hymn had been sung. The minister stood in the pulpit. All was quiet.

One of those long dead little minks must have relaxed in some way. He (I always thought of them as masculine) suddenly let go of the mink next in line.

I watched in horror as those minks slowly slid down Mrs. East's back to the back of her pew and onto my right ankle!!!!!

My scream was, in every sense, blood curdling. The minister stopped his oration and stared in my direction. I continued to scream as the minks clung to my leg.

My father finally snapped out of his reverie, grabbed me up and dechurched me!

I don't remember anything else about that event except that we found other seats and I've never wanted to be near mink in any form since.

*No worries Mr. Proust. You are still "the man".

16 comments:

  1. Horrifying no doubt, but I'm sure the incident is the subject of a few chuckles (from other folks) today:@) No animal skins here either, stay warm!.

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  2. I remember those skins with heads and I was afraid of them too. If they had fallen on me, I would have been promptly snatched up and dechurched too. The funny thing is I see them in shops and at antique shows from time to time. They still give me the creeps.
    Sam

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  3. HELP I am laughing and I can't stop... HILARIOUS! LOVE I... the word dechurched just slays me... and from the time i could hold a pencil until i was married with kids, i filled in every loup in the church bulletin...mine, my mothers, my brothers to...i was dechurched by mom a few times when the pinch on my thigh did not work... she could pinch really hard. thanks for the laughs
    almost forgot. our church was so poor i never saw a mink or fur of any kind. i had one aunt that wore these little guys but thankfully she lived in another state.

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  4. Bonnie this is so funny. I can just see a child doing this.

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  5. What a wonderful story! My granddaughter loves to shop at thrift stores. Last Christmas she was pleased as punch to be wearing her great find -- a fox stole! I hope I feigned my appreciation well!

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    1. I have heard that those stoles are making their way back into fashion. Ugh!

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  6. If you can believe this..I have one of thos emink stoles in the attic from a great aunt who would be more than 100 I am sure..
    Don't know why I kept it..I guess because my mom did..now me..?
    Teeth and all:(

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  7. I've never wanted a fur coat either. And a stole like this one...yuck! Our very fancy organist at Church, wore one of these too. I was fascinated with it at that time...we would pet it when she took it off. I think it was a fox stole. Very funny post. Balisha http://simplybalisha.blogspot.com/

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  8. This is hysterical. I laughed aloud. First I can identify. I don't like fur coats but I hated the ones with the eyes and heads on them that ladies wore to church. But never had one fall on me. Creeps! What a great story!

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  9. I LOVED this! Bet you can still feel those little mink on your feet! . . . So funny!

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  10. Tee hee hee...what a wonderful story- It made such a picture in my head! My aunt had two little foxes like those that she wore to church. I LOVED them though, and played with them whenever I got the chance. I loved the way their little mouths would open and bite each others' tails! :)

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  11. what a story bonnie! I can't believe that happened! Love the mental image of it!

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  12. Your story brought back lots of memories, Bonnie. My grandmother had a mink stole like the one you describe that she loved to wrap around her shoulders. The mouth fastener looked huge to me when I was a little girl. Several of her friends wore the same thing. It was quite the style back then.

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  13. Ha Ha! It makes for funny reading, but wasn't funny for you at the time. I'm with you all the way, I remember them and they freaked me out too. And I would never ever wear a fur coat!

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  14. What a funny story! Isn't it something how we form opinions based on early experiences? I remember those fox pellets holding onto each other. I thought they were a sign of being rich. LOL

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